Day 22.

16 Jan

Today lie your ass off about absolutely everything and enjoy a much more stimulating experience.

I can honestly say that I am not very good at lying. I can do it, don’t get me wrong, I could fool someone into thinking absolutely anything but only if I had the time to think the lie through. None of this spontaneous malarkey as I will simply be caught out through the amount I will be giggling. It’s the same with sarcasm, I have to be in the mood to make it work. Little white lies are no problem….’Yeah I have already done the dishes’….’Yeah, I did do my homework Sir, I just forgot to bring it in’….’Yeah, that was the best I’ve ever had’…..But it’s the big lies I have an issue with. Just tell the truth because lies can get very messy indeed.

Now I will tell you a story of one such lie…

Back in sunny Cornwall there is a theme park called Flambards. Filled with exciting rides, fun arcade games and a museum packed with a Victorian Village and a portrayal of Britain in the Blitz, it is a magical place for all the family ‘come rain or shine’. I spent the vast majority of my summer there when I was 13/14, my birthday being in August, and got to know some of the staff that worked there. Me and my friends used to jump on the bus and head on down there to meet these gorgeous guys who were in charge of these big thrill rides. I remember one day it was raining so much that the place was deserted and so we decided we might as well go on the log flume a gazillion times. Our gorgeous friend let us stay on there for about 3 hours. Looking back on it, the guys were not at all gorgeous and were about 20 years our senior and the rides, not so thrilling.


Anyway we enjoyed it nonetheless. One day as the summer was coming to an end, me and my friends went to Flambards once more, only this time I had lied to my mum about where I was going. Now I am not sure about why I did this, and all I can think is that I was possibly meant to be in school – my memory is somewhat hazy about the time period – but I know I wasn’t meant to be going there. I went the whole day feeling awful but no-one had suspected a thing and so on the bus back home I knew I had got away with it.

Except I hadn’t. My damned neighbour had seen me on the bus coming back from Flambards about five minutes from home. When I got in my mum knew all about it and I did nothing but cry and apologise for two days.

Moral of the story is don’t ever, ever, ever, think you’ve got away with it because it’ll come back to bite you in the ass.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: